An easy mass shooting solution.

Did you ever see the movie “Dave” starring Kevin Klein? I love it. One of its fundamental messages is that Dave, played by Kevin Klein, believes a little common sense can help fix government. What’s not to love about that?

With the spate of mass shootings recently, I came up with a little common sense thinking to see what I can do to help. Whether I agree or not, it seems like the majority of the country does not want to change our gun laws. I only say that because a majority of our legislators seem to be against change and we elect them, so we must not want to change them.

Armed with that preface (did you see what I did right there) I came up with a plan that could work. My plan? To create a new government agency: the Federal Universal Counseling Department, F.U.C.D.

You see, there seems to be a universal feeling after these shootings that we don’t have a gun problem, we have a mental health problem. The trouble is, we’re spending so much effort on guns, we’re missing the mental health part. With F.U.C.D., that all changes because we’ll turn the tables on the people part.

F.U.C.D. would get half of the personnel count of the ATF, Secret Services TSA and Homeland Security. We’d reduce various physical security programs, laying off those personnel, and hire tens of thousands therapists we’d place in  areas with the most security risks.


At airports, we’ll stop x-raying luggage and people. You won’t need to get to the airport as early. Instead of checking ID’s, F.U.C.D. staff will screen travelers by asking simple questions like, “Tell me about your relationship with your father,” “draw a picture of your family and show me which person is you” or”what does this banana remind you of?

The President won’t need as large a security detail if he has counselors trained in body language psychology to scan crowds. Churchs, synagogues and mosques could apply for their own F.U.C.D. details.

As Dave might tell us, let’s put our eggs in the right baskets. If it’s true that people kill people, not guns, then let’s let the guns fly free and focus on getting F.U.C.D. to solve the problem.

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